Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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