What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
