I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
