Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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