All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
