i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
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Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize