she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
