I'm so fucking centered right now
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
