Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
