Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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