i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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