Since when is my name a synonym for head?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
