im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
