i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize