A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
