I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
