don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
