I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
