I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize