So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
