he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
