South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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