Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
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I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
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I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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