If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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