I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
