She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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