Can Purell be used as lube?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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