If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
