Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize