Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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