You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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