Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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