I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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