Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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