I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
