Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
