it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
