she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
