Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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