did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
