I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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