I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
