Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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