I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
