By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
