My brain says no but my pants say off.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize