Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
