Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Houston, we have a squirter
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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