Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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