when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
