So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
