People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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