I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize