Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
