So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
