you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
