I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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