Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
