Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
