So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
