I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
